The holidays are in full swing here at Hydrogen and Stupidity!
Ok gadget sluts: listen up. I think I have the perfect Holineutral gift idea. My new bitchPOD. Does it shuffle your favorite Dusty Springfield or secret stash of the Clash? No. Does it shuffle nerdy podcasts of "All Things Considered"? No.
What it would shuffle are a playlist of responses to Fundie freaks, thumpers, misogynist slobs,consumptive bastards, crazed rednecks, and stupid people on line behind us at the store that complain about the speed of the cashier.
And I propose a site to download quips, snark, and general bitchery for .99 a download. When the offender opens their stupid mouths, hit a button and spare yourself the aggravation. A little speaker will proclaim anything from your position on reproductive liberty to your angst about the holidays. And the beauty of it is this: you don;t even have to formulate your own view if you don't feel like it! Just download an opinion!
If you had this imaginary device, what would your shuffle include?????
Happy Holineutraldays! -Lily
7 comments:
Haha, this is outrageously funny!
Move over iTunes, here comes, umm well what to call it exactly?
iRetorts?
iComebacks?
iInsults?
iPutdowns?
Ahh, how about:
iSTFUs
Yes, that might be it!
Download your iSTFUs with celebrity voices at www.apple.com/istfus/!
Great post Lily.
I like iQuips and iSnark. Please note that this is not a gender specific exercise!!! You can have a bastardPOD, punditPOD, granolaPOD, grammaPOD... drunkPOD...just to clarify.
Well, I really like the name bitchPOD and didn't think of it as being gender specific like pmsPOD or sobPOD might be.
I want a bitchPOD! I want a subrscription to iSTFUs, too! I would enjoy shoving my bitchPOD at "Fundie freaks, thumpers, misogynist slobs,consumptive bastards, crazed rednecks, and stupid people on line behind us at the store" and watching them shrink away even if it was a recording from that miscreant O'Reilly yelling "Shut up, shut up, shut up!".
Fucking brilliant!!! And I vote for iSnark. Where can I order??? :)~
My dear AWOL bitch, it comes with default snarkalicious CB quotes built in of course. And if you try to erase them, a pin pops out and stabs you in the brain.
The catch is that God designed it and we must all hang our heads and admit that it was done intelligently. From what void did thy bitchPOD spring???
Behold: Adobe Allmighty.
ROFL
Enjoy the holidays, CB, and everyone else lurking around these parts.
Take care.
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