The most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
- Harlan Ellison
For the first few days we thought she had a cold. Then it dawned on us that this was her voice. Thewn we realized we were ready for Tucker Carlson to come back.
No kidding. That little bow tie almost looks cute by comparison. By the way, everyone, in case it's tempting to give me a hard time about preferring "perfect" talking heads, spare me. Anchors get jobs not because they're the best journalists. Anchors get jobs because they have that "something" that makes them "watchable". That's the consumer in us, and it's a well-known truism throughout the TV/Cable/Film industries. Well, "watchability" includes speech. Except not for whomever hired Rita. Maybe it's some kind of bizarre experiment. "How will the audience react to news as delivered by a voice that sounds like hard plastic on a cheese grater? Hmm... Focus Group!"
I think Greta taught us that there is a certain mascot-like appeal to the shitty looking underdog presenters of fiction...er, I mean to news anchors. Its like passe' to have perfect people- to show you have the finger on the American pulse, its all about the pretense of "keeping it real". Get used to the token dumpy, heavy, cancerthroated,pseudo-cantankerous Caffertyesque antics of 24-7 supercenter-shopping style news... Marketing? Pretty girls with big hair are out, heroine hangover Avrilescence is IN. We're not talking Carlson. We're talking Toure'. Slop-chic. As for me, I'll take Moyers in my headline hot fudge sundae.
Actually, I kind of like Cafferty, but then again, I like snark. That point aside, neither Cafferty or Greta *sound* like they've just had a goddamn trach put in. Yech. I mean seriously. If it wouldn't fly on radio, it won't fly on TV. What are these people thinking?
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